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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24093637">Re-sublimity</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/OMGitsgreen/pseuds/OMGitsgreen'>OMGitsgreen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Space Opera, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Gen, Jupiter Ascending Inspired, M/M, Worldbuilding, but a little more complicated then that, but also a little more complicated then that, it's all complicated - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:54:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,740</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24093637</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/OMGitsgreen/pseuds/OMGitsgreen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“In the vastness of space and time it is of course possible for a genetic code to be reproduced exactly. We consider that to be a true rebirth, a Recurrence.” </p><p>“So...my genetic code has occurred once before?” Caleb asked.</p><p>Caleb Widogast, navigator of the Starship SS Balleater, entered the Xhorhas Solar System with only one thought in mind...fixing his cat. Instead, he is thrust into dangerous game and a marriage to one of the most powerful men in that solar system that threatens not only both their lives...but also their hearts.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Shadowgast Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Recurrence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I swear, I was just planning on writing a few small fics for Shadowgast week. I swear. And then, this happened and I basically shoved all of the prompts into one gigantic fic. I do this to myself. </p><p>...enjoy!</p><p>Recommended Listening: Re-sublimity by KOTOKO</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>&gt;Journey Log #105</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Entered Intergalactic Standard Time 23:04 </span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Order: Read Transcript</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dear Traveler, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You should have seen me today! We dealt with what Fjord calls a “clusterfuck” with no problem! It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>space pirates</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you know, like Avantika except these ones weren’t cultists to a Deep Space Snake thingy. Yasha said we should call them bandits, but I remember you telling me that all crime in space is actually piracy because space counts as international waters. So I’m going to call them space pirates, okay! I was able to channel your energy through my STAFF, and do some serious damage. Caduceus is getting pretty good with his STAFF, you know, he was still using an actual wood staff to channel the Wildmom’s energy when we first met him. The techno-staffs are so much easier to use, and I’m excited about showing him how to update his later just like you showed me.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the funny thing about these space pirates were that they were kobolds! Caleb said that kobolds originate from a planet called </span>
  <span>Darastrixhurthi, which was really hard for him to pronounce. I took a guess at how to spell it here, hopefully I did it right. He had never heard of them piloting a spacecraft before, but their ships were these super duper rinky dink ships that Fjord said they most likely stole from the nearby planet and fixed up to be barely space-worthy. </span>
  <span>I’m sure you’ve seen kobolds before, but they were so cute, even though they were stupid and still tried to shoot us down after we gave them food. Anyways, Nott’s getting really good with her vibro-crossbow, and Beau’s lightning punches really saved the day. And you should have seen Yasha, she just about cleaved a ship in two with her vibro-sword! But I promise, I made sure to give them food and tuck in a statue of you as we scared them off. I’m trying to give something just as you always teach me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was too bad about Frumpkin getting punted, but Caleb said he could fix him up again once we get to the nearest planet. Everyone said that because we saw the kobolds and passed by </span>
  <span>Darastrixhurthi, we’ll be reaching the Xhorhas System within two days, so long as we don’t have any more run-ins with trouble. I really hope we don’t because this has been the longest we’ve journeyed without stopping and I’m getting reaaaaaal bored. It’s so much easier when we have a hyperdrive that actually works to, you know, space travel! But I don’t really want to explode or anything. I’ll find something to do for the two days, besides rewatching my holo-dramas. Maybe I’ll have Caduceus teach me how to use the wand that I picked up on that planet with the fish-people. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As always, I hope I can see you sometime soon when you aren’t too busy. Please look out for Mama, and my friends, and me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bye!!!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[Record, included below is an image of kobolds wearing funny hats and flying on ships shaped like dicks]</span>
</p><p>
  <span> &gt;Postscript 1, Added by Captain Fjord: Jester, I'm begging you, please stop putting dick drawings in the official journey log. We have to turn these in at port sometimes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Postscript 2, Added by First Mate Beauregard: Oh come on, Captain. These are so fucking dry, I’m sure people would find it entertaining. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Postscript 3, Added by Nott the Brave: I personally think that kobold on the far right needs a bigger hat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Postscript 4, Added by Jester Lavorre: &gt;:D</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Postscript 5, Added by Navigator Caleb Widogast: It’s 24:00</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Postscript 6, Added by Nott the Brace: ...your people did this to my people.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Postscript 7, Added by Caduceus Clay: Imjuhbdwpqidnamap</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Postscript 8, Added by Yasha Nydoorin: I don’t think Caduceus meant to enter that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Postscript 9, Added by Captain Fjord: No, he told me he meant to ask Jester to please call the Wildmother by her name if she can...you know </span>
  <span>the Wildmother</span>
  <span>. Alright everyone, go to sleep. We’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>The solar system of Xhorhas was the place where the Kryn Dynasty had been born, a rising power that’s influence was only dampered by the ever expanding reach of the Dwendalian Empire. When the starship SS Balleater docked on the planet of Asarius, two things were made extremely clear. First, based on the look that the officers gave their ship, they were a bit worse for wear. Second, they took bureaucracy to a whole other level here. They had been waiting in a long twisting line at the Customs office for exactly two hours and twenty seven minutes, in darkened rooms only slightly illuminated by low green lights. It had frayed on all of their nerves, to be honest. The Mighty Nein had never done well with long waits, and tended to get into trouble when they weren’t doing something of pressing importance at every moment. The past twenty days of deep space travel without a functioning hyperdrive had made that extremely clear. To make matters worse, Caleb was sore over the loss of Frumpkin, who had been kicked to shit by one of the kobolds who had managed to board the ship. Familiars, or animal companion droids, could be hard to maintain but he would be able to repair him, as long as he could acquire the necessary parts.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Caleb was relieved when their crew reached the front of the line, and came face to face with an overworked and obviously underpaid Kryn officer who looked at them all like she was awaiting her last breath. She was drow, an alien species that was related to the elves that had colonized so many planets during the first space expansion. However, unlike the other species of elves, they were originally an earth-dwelling species. Their coloration was dark and their sensitivity to light kept everything dim in the official buildings like the one they were currently in.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Welcome to the planet of Asarius, is this your first time entering the Xhorhas system?” the officer asked, her voice dull and bored. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it is,” Beauregard said, not sounding impressed by this officer’s obvious existential crisis. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very well, then you will have to undergo the registration process. I will need to prick your finger and gather a blood sample, and ask you a few questions so we can complete the registration questionnaire. Denial of this means you will not have access to the Xhorhas System and we will have to ask you to leave immediately.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So...we all have to register our DNA to get </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> here?” Beauregard demanded of the Kryn officer behind the glass, who looked like she wanted nothing more than to slide the glass closed on Beauregard’s face. “Isn’t that...like...extortion or something?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Clearly you are not from around here,” the Kryn officer said pointing to the sign above the desk...written unhelpfully in the language of their culture. None of them spoke it, and with a quick type into his wristband STAFF he was about to cast Comprehend Languages for a translation when she seemed exasperated by their quietness and did the translating for them. “What you need is a Kryn certified Identification and Navigation Aid, or INAV, which you utilize to transfer credits and license your spacecraft. You only receive an INAV once you have registered with our offices, and to be registered you have your DNA filed with us. Not only is this process used to prove the legitimacy of our monarchs and members of our dens, but also, yes, to prove you are who you say you are when you are paying for goods and services. Unless you want to give blood every time you go to buy food, you get an INAV.”   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do we know you aren’t using our DNA for shady shit,” Nott asked suspiciously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lady, I just work here,” the Kryn official snapped, motioning to the ever expanding line of annoyed and tired travelers behind them. “Either let me do my damn job here or leave the solar system.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s not make her life more difficult than need be,” Fjord said as he held out his hand. She put a device like a heart-rate monitor on his finger and Fjord flinched as it made a small “psst” sound. She clicked the device back into the desk, and typed something into her computer. “My name is Fjord.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Last name?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tough,” Nott supplied, and Fjord gave her a long look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tusktooth!” Jester chirped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just Fjord,” Fjord clarified. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Planet of origin?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nicodranas.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Business here in the Kryn Dynasty?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ship repairs, and mercenary work.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take two steps to the left and maintain a neutral expression.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord did as she said, and a picture was taken. The woman tapped her screen, and a confirmation ding was made. Out popped a drive that was about the size of Caleb’s index finger. She demonstrated how it extended and a tiny holographic image of Fjord’s face and his basic information as well as the genetic marker appeared. It was then handed off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, next,” the officer said, voice somehow more clipped than it had been moments before. They went down the line, Caleb taking up the rear as they did. He wasn’t excited for this at all...after all the last thing he needed was more traces of him where the Empire could find him. But sometimes you had to take a risk, after all, it would be far more suspicious to tap out of the process here surrounded by Kryn officers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb held out his hand and felt the pinch of a needle before it was retracted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Name?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Caleb Widogast.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Planet of origin?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Outer territory Rex-33, Settlement BLU-MENTHAL.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Business here in the Kryn Dynasty?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mercenary work and droid repair,” he said, showing her the currently out of commission Frumpkin who was in his side-satchel.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take two steps to the left and maintain a neutral expression.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb did so, and heard the sound of the picture being snapped. However after she tapped something into her screen there was a different noise. An obvious alert noise that had him immediately tense up. The officer stared at her screen for a moment, then back at Caleb and then back at her screen...clearly doing a double take. Before anyone could move, she waved at a senior officer behind her. He was a tall bugbear, and made a strangely funny picture as he leaned over the small drow. He frowned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, sir. Can you check this? I must have entered something in wrong,” the officer said, her voice confused...but not angry or suspicious as she pointed to something on the screen. The senior officer looked at what she was pointing at and then popped out the INAV and extended it, inspecting the genetic code. He double checked it with the screen, seemed content with whatever he saw, and he exited out from the glass door separating the officers and the lines. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, that’s correct. Nothing wrong with the intake,” the senior officer said before addressing Caleb and inspecting him closely. “Sir, have you ever registered DNA with our system before?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’ve never been to this system before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And how old are you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m 33 according to the Intergalactic Universal Standard Calendar,” Caleb said, frowning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Human, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would be.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Minryna, that sample was cataloged approximately 850 years ago. There’s no way it’s been accidentally re-entered. It’s legit,” another senior officer called back to the one inspecting Caleb. Other clerks had stopped what they were doing and had gathered around the screen, and Caleb felt the pinprick of a thousand eyes behind him and a rising tide of whispers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, Luxon bless me,” whistled the officer before looking at Caleb. “I guess it’s someone’s lucky day isn’t it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucky day?” Beauregard asked incredulously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Forgive me for the long wait. Congratulations on your Recurrence,” the officer said holding out his hand. Caleb, numbly, took it and let it be shook before the officer opened the INAV and signed the bottom with his finger. It glowed a silver color, as opposed to the blue of the others. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Recurrence</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Caleb asked, feeling more and more confused by the moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Follow me,” the officer said, and the whispers behind him grew louder. Officers moved out to seperate them from the obviously curious crowd. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My friends…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you may bring them as well. We’ll make sure your ship is taken care of post haste, we’ll probably need to take off from here within an hour..” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait </span>
  <em>
    <span>where the hell are we going</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Beau demanded as they all walked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you saying congratulations?” Nott asked as they all entered an elevator, and the officer punched the 110th floor. It was traveling up at a dizzying speed, totally glass so you could see the work on each platform as they rose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Genetics carry a sacred connotation in our society,” the officer explained. “I’m sure you have heard of our practice of consecution...of the soul being reborn through the power of the Luxon Beacon. However every person is unique. In the vastness of space and time it is of course possible for a genetic code to be reproduced exactly. We consider that to be a true rebirth, a Recurrence.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So...my genetic code has occurred once before?” Caleb asked. This was far less incriminating then he had feared, but also that idea was terrifying on so many levels. He could barely handle himself...the idea that there had been another one of him running around at one point was dizzying and horrible. Who knows what he had gotten up to, knowing him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” the officer said simply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Caleb was someone really cool before?”  Jester asked, sounding excited. “I read a holonovel sort of like this once! Of course the discovery was wayyy sexier but-!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think this is very sexy,” Yasha said softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is neat,” Caduceus said, sounding extremely impressed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So where are we going right now?” Fjord asked, trying to get them all back on track. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am taking you to the upper deck, where they handle Genetic Inquiries. We just get an alert that a Recurrence has occurred and the year of the genetic sample taken of the previous life...in theory that is. We certainly haven’t had any recorded cases of Recurrence within my lifetime. Anyways, they will be able to assist with other questions, including and not limited to who your previous incarnation was, and matters of any titles they may have left you in their will." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wills? Like money?” Nott asked, her interest thoroughly peaked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s common to leave parts of your will for a future recurrence, especially amongst the nobility.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is all strangely morbid,” Caleb said, unable to help the way his mouth quirked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s very thoughtful,” Caduceus said with a nod. “We should all be considering our futures and how we would like our affairs put into order.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you are into that,” Fjord said with an incredulous shake of his head, though the look he shared with Caduceus was fond. Caduceus was from a race of aliens who worshiped a nature deity and were essentially stewards of the dead. His interest didn't surprise Caleb in the least. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were brought to an empty looking office...well, in comparison to the line they had just been in it was downright barren. A single goblinoid looked at them from behind a desk that was laden with stacks of tablets and papers. Behind her was a seemingly endless sea of files. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is the one?" she asked, looking at Caleb and his flashing silver INAV. She held out her hand and he handed it to her. She opened it, inspected the contents and the signature and then signed it herself before turning to her computer. "Very well, let me just type in this and...here we go. C-12B-Jg73_E05_8." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She suddenly pushed with her legs and went skating down the hall with her chair. It was attached to the ground glided along easily and then with a tap of a button she was sent up to a second level. The goblinoid tapped in some code, opened a file, retrieved a holodisk, and then with a lever pull she was returned. She plugged the external drive of the holodisk into the computer checking it and reading it quickly. She then reached to plug the holodesk into the INAV. She pointed at a long document that Caleb skimmed before going to the bottom and signing with his finger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Very well, congratulations, my Lord," the goblinoid said. "This highlighted section is the section of the will devoted to you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb felt the others crowd him as the goblinoid spoke on the com in Undercommon. It didn't truly surprise him to see this script written in Proto-Zemnian. That means the person had been alive Pre-Calamity or at least 800 years ago. It made sense considering talk of 850 years ago. And of course if he did share DNA with someone, it also was somewhat comforting to know it was with another Zemnian. He recognized some of the script, but utilized his techno-magic to translate typing into his STAFF and approving the magical sequence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What does it say?" Jester asked excitedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He isn't gonna tell us," Beau bemoaned, now officially caught up in the excitement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb ignored them and read it out loud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>And to my future recurrence, if one should ever appear and claim my title, I leave two things. First, my journal of spellcraft. If you are anything like me I am sure you will find it interesting. Second, I leave my second home on the planet of Rosohna to you if it is still standing. Both can be collected from the arbiter of my will...my…" </span>
  </em>
  <span>Caleb nearly choked over the next words</span>
  <em>
    <span>. "My beloved. If he still lives</span>
  </em>
  <span>." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, he lives alright," the goblinoid said as grim looking guards appeared from the side door. "Best of luck with meeting you husband again!" </span>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>&gt;Personal Log Entry #365242</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Entered Intergalactic Standard Time 01:11</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Order: Record. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Current success on project RESONANT ECHO has continued, using my STAFF I am capable of pulling a version of myself from a discarded timeline for limited amounts of time. This has been not only thrilling, but also frustrating. They are still limited in what they can accomplish. I may have to go back to traditional spellwork and iron out the details there before attempting again with a STAFF. Sometimes raw mana cannot substitute for good old fashioned components. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On a more personal note, I have decided to bench my idea of pulling a Resonant Echo of another willing creature for now. Firstly, I have no willing creatures to test this idea on. My solitary nature has thwarted me again, unfortunately. And secondly...I am not sure I could bear the idea of success. I do not care much for the moral quandaries of such matters, and that isn’t what stops me. I only worry that it might put me on a path that is ill-advised for my mental health. The only thing more important than progress is being able to enjoy the fruits of my hard work. I am still my own greatest resource at the end of the day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Postscript: Add obsidian to shopping list, to be delivered to my personal address. Order for the delivery service to leave the package with TOWER. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Completed transcription, would you like to save, override, or delete this file? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Order: Save. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Essek Theylss was in the most boring meeting of his whole life. Economics had never been his interest, though of course he understood them. He had been given a thorough education at his Den's hand, and being a long-lived species meant you had time to become knowledgeable in anything you desired. But, as always, he wished to be doing his own research as opposed to attending meetings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as he was making this wish, the meeting was interrupted by Taskhand Adeen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My Queen, forgive me for my interruption," the Taskhand said, as always his face was an impossible to crack study of ice. "But an urgent matter has just occurred, I was just informed of it by the guards. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then speak," the Bright Queen ordered, now sitting at attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My Queen, it is news of the most importance. Shadowhand," he said suddenly, and Essek was thrown off guard because-him? What had been discovered? What one of his moving parts, his schemes, what-"there has been a Recurrence.  Congratulations, your husband returns." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?" Essek asked as he stood and floated, the words hitting his skin and freezing over like icy rain. His brain, oddly, felt slow on the uptake. It was a thoroughly disorientating and dizzying experience. The words churning in a strange fog and then a rising panic. "I'm sorry, could you...could you repeat that?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There has been a Recurrence of your husband, Shadowhand. He returns now, brought from Asarius. We have genetic confirmation from the Solar System database-" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Essek knew his levitation dropped because suddenly there was a burst of pain in his knees. It was strange...suddenly he had no strength in his limbs...and his sight was swimming. Recurrence? His husband? No, it couldn't be true. His husband was </span>
  <em>
    <span>gone</span>
  </em>
  <span>, gone forever. Whoever this was...it wasn't him. It couldn't be him...he was just a stranger wearing his husband's face. Another ghost to torture him, to leave him behind-!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Essek," a gentle, concerned voice said. "By the Luxon give the boy some room!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Deep breaths," came another voice, echoing in his skull and rattling in his brainstem. "Deep breaths, Essek. In and out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do we need a medbot? Merciful Light! What were you thinking, just springing that on him in public!" The Bright Queen...he knew it was the Bright Queen who chastised Adeen. He was following instructions, breathing in and out, and it was becoming easier to discern who was around him. The lights ceased their strobing, his heart receded from his throat and made it easier to swallow. The one keeping him from melting into the ground was Quana, the Dusk Captain and wife of the Bright Queen. The one coaching him through the essential process of breathing was the Skysybil. He was in the Bright Queen’s throne room. He wasn’t dying. He was having a panic attack. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Forgive me for my unsightly display," Essek said breathlessly, trying and failing at pulling himself together, welding the shards of his icy-exterior back where they belonged. This show of weakness...how could he have let himself succumb to that in public regardless of what was happening? There was always time later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is of course emotional for you," Quana said, with a gentle pat on his shoulder. "Your husband returns. Of course the feeling is overwhelming."  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It is a joyous thing, a </span>
  <em>
    <span>holy</span>
  </em>
  <span> occurrence," the Bright Queen said, crossing the room and looking as radiant as a newly born star. "It is no weakness to be overwhelmed by the Divine. The Luxon has seen it fit to return your husband, and to give us all a sign of His favor. You must go and prepare for him, just as we must begin preparations to welcome him." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Luxon! As if the Luxon had anything to do with this! It isn't him, Essek wanted to scream. It isn't him! He's gone from my side forever. This stranger...it won't be him. This isn't divine...it's a cruel trick of fate and genetics. It isn't him, it isn't him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Prepare, yes, I...I must prepare," Essek said before nearly fleeing the chamber before anyone could stop him. He must have teleported back, though all he felt was a blur of noise and light and suddenly he was there. Everything felt so strange. Nothing was right anymore. His usual sanctuary had been breached by the abnormal, and all he wanted was to make it stop.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hum of his levitation seemed to be the only noise that echoed from the halls of his home as he arrived. He sent the droids that acted as servants away, and slammed the door to the study close and locked it with a wave. For a moment he paused before continuing on in spite of his racing heart. The ocean between him and the desk seemed immense as he crossed it. Opening the locked compartment he removed his husband's will from inside gingerly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It has been at least a hundred years since he had looked at it. It was written on parchment...because of course it was, his husband had always been old-fashioned...even back then. He had kept it in a temperature and moisture controlled capsule to prevent decay ever since it had been written. He had memorized every line a long time ago, he was sure, and yet now looking at the last section he paused. The spell book and the summer home and that was it. On paper it was nothing. Hardly a blip on the radar of the vast wealth that Essek commanded at his fingertips. But he would have to give it up...more remnants of his husband that he clung to would disappear from his grasp forever.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn't fair, Essek thought, breathless with grief as he pulled his husband's spellbook from the same controlled compartment. He held back his tears stubbornly. Essek was unwilling to stain the cover of the well-loved book as he cradled it to his chest. Inside was his husband’s soul, the work that Essek had founded his magic on. This interloper would take from Essek what little he had left that he held sacred.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sir, your heart rate is elevated as is the saturation of stress hormones in your blood," TOWER, the AI that ran the home systems reported. The screen of his INAV lighting up the alert for Essek to see. "Are you in need of assistance?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"TOWER, what is the rate of Recurrence in the general population?" Essek asked, refusing to answer that question. There was no good answer, after all. Why waste his time? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The rate of Recurrence in the general population is one in ten trillion."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"One in ten trillion…" Essek murmured, truly grappling with that statistic for the first time in his life. He had heard that number before of course. Back when he was in school, in his courses meant to educate and indoctrinate him into the faith of the Luxon. But now it seemed so vast, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>unlikely</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Bards sang songs about this, subscribed entertainment was based on this. And yet somehow it was really happening to him. "And do these Recurrences...when they happen, is it reported that the person is...similar, to their previous incarnation?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Physically identical, however the rate of Recurrence is so low there has not been the opportunity for true scientific studies on the phenomenon, sir. Only anecdotal accounts." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Give a general summary of the anecdotal accounts, TOWER,” Essek said with little patience. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It is theorized that though the core of a person may be written in genetics, environmental factors such as planet born, levels of sustenance during formative years, chemical and radiation exposure, family structure, socio-economic standing, and other psychological factors and epigenetics will have an effect on the individual. As such, the Recurrence may not be the exact same individual as the previous incarnation." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good," Essek said as he finally drew in a breath. "Good...then this will just be an unpleasant meeting. But who knows? He may not be interested in the book and I'll be able to keep it." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you unhappy, sir? By my database's reading this is supposed to be a happy event." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course I am unhappy!" Essek snapped at the AI. "Some...some ghost wearing his face is coming here. A ghost who by sheer dumb luck is given a title to land and my husband's spellbook...and...well...my hand in marriage." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Would you consider it better or worse if he was the same as your husband, sir?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh by the Nine Hells if I know!" Essek groaned. But he was lying to himself. Of course it would be worse if he was the same. If he was the same...if this ghost truly was his husband...Essek would fall apart at the seams. After all, there wasn't a worse fate than being happy, for all happiness turned to ash and ruin. He had a husband for only ninety years. In the lifespan of his people that was hardly a season, nothing worth fretting over. And yet, he was still so cold at night without him...he still woke some nights, expecting his husband to be beside him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Essek wouldn't go through it again. Not again, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He wouldn’t allow it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Contact the Theylss arbiter and have them prepare documentation for an annulment," Essek ordered TOWER as he stood. He looked towards the wide windows, the violet-blue interstellar clouds that shimmered with the radiance of distant stars. His garden called to him, his sanctuary pulled him to it like the indelible force of gravity.  He was one with it...drifting quietly as always. "I would like this to be over and done with quickly." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Essek was about to say something else when the sound of a call going through interrupted him. He knew who it was without even looking, which is why he didn’t bother to say hello as the voice came through.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Essek," his Denmother said, her voice cold and commanding as her image appeared on the screen. "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Congratulations</span>
  </em>
  <span>. We have much to speak about." </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>“What do you think your husband is like?” Jester asked curiously, bouncing in her seat in the flight deck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were currently being escorted to Rosohna by the Echo-Knights, who’s speedy Moorbounder ships kept in tight formation around them. They had had their ship’s general needs repaired in record time, their ship restocked with supplies, and had been told that when they reached Rosohna their ship’s hyperdrive would also be taken care of free of charge. They had actually been offered a completely brand new ship that was so beautiful it had almost made Fjord cry. They had refused it, because as Beauregard pointed out if something was fucked with on their own ship, they would be able to tell easily. For now, considering the results of Nott and Caduceus’ quick investigation, it seemed like everything was fine and in working order. All of this somehow and for a reason that Caleb was still grappling with was due to the fact that Caleb was apparently married. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not my husband,” Caleb murmured, arguing for the sake of arguing the point, though his protests sounded weak to his own ears the more he read about Recurrence and the significance it held to Xhorhassian society. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“According to the laws of this Solar System, yeah, he is,” Beauregard said as she slid the holodisk at him and rotated the image so Caleb could read it. “Right there. Xhorhas General Law, Part 2, Title 3, Chapter 507, Section 258 on the validity of marriage. </span>
  <em>
    <span>The clerk shall require written notice of intention of marriage, on forms furnished by the state registrar of vital records and statistics, containing such information as is required by law and also a statement of absence of any legal impediment to the marriage, to be given before such Xhorhassian accredited clerk under oath by both of the parties to the intended marriage. After a marriage is solemnized by an approved Dynasty religion or other official method, the marriage is considered binding until a time when an annulment is performed, see sections 280-320 for specifics</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And then I looked down and here, in Section 283 it says,</span>
  <em>
    <span> if one party to the marriage dies, the marriage vow is considered null and void and the living party shall receive the benefits given within the will, can apply for a remarriage, and shall be able to file for government aid if needed. However, if a Recurrence is found of the deceased the previous marriage shall be automatically renewed in the system and upheld until the time that both parties file for an annulment.” </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Congratulations?” Fjord offered weakly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Caleb isn’t married!” Nott half screamed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It sounds like Caleb is married,” Yasha noted.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t even know if this guy deserves Caleb!” Nott argued, nearly frothing at the mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are technically married until we file a divorce then,” Caleb clarified, feeling like his stomach was twisting in his belly. He wished desperately he had Frumpkin to hold, but the guards of Assarius hadn’t been able to supply the specialty parts he had needed. He had been told that they would be provided easily by his “husband’s” family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mind came back to the concept at hand. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Marriage</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Caleb wasn’t against the idea of marriage as a social construct. He had once even dreamed of marrying. He had wanted to marry the girl he loved more than anything else in this universe. He had planned to marry her, and die beside her in the name of his King and Empire in the great battles against the evil that threatened the security of that Empire. Of course, things didn’t turn out the way one planned… and apparently he had been married all along.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are going to divorce him?” Jester asked, sounding heartbroken and drawing Caleb from his strange thoughts. “But what if he’s wonderful? What if you love him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t love someone I’ve never met before,” Caleb said, apologetically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In a past life you did though,” Jester said, her pout deadly in its force. “That’s what Recurrence basically is, right? Being reborn.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We would refer to it as reincarnation,” Caduceus added as he appeared with a teapot. He poured a cup for Caleb and gave his shoulder a gentle pat. Caleb accepted it, if only to have something to do with his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is a genetic anomaly,” Caleb argued, motioning at the page he was reading. “I understand that genetics and rebirth are an important aspect of the Dynasty’s religion but it’s just that. It’s just a religious belief. I don’t know this person that shared my DNA, but you wouldn’t assume that if I married someone that person would also be married to my identical twin, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a twin?” Jester asked, her tail swishing excitedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have a twin,” Caleb sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Twins don’t count as a Recurrence,” Beau mentioned. “Chapter 436, Section 23.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t...it was just an example. Besides, I’m sure it’s...I’m sure that person’s husband wouldn’t want to be married to me. I am not the person they loved.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It must be painful for them,” Yasha said softly, eyes drawn dark with grief. “But I’m sure they might be grateful too. There isn’t much…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha trailed off, but Caleb didn’t need to hear the rest. After all, Caleb was also well versed in the language of grief. Yasha was right, there wasn’t much he wouldn’t do for the chance to at least glimpse at the faces of the people he had loved the most again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Den Theylss though, I've heard they are a huge deal in these parts," Fjord said quietly, tapping the steering thoughtfully. "They are one of the three most powerful families in the Kryn Dynasty, second only to the Bright Queen's den. When I was running the merchant routes back in the day, the merchant ships that came out here always said that the three dens own thirds of the Dynasty." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe you ought to stay married to this dude," Beauregard said seriously. "He's rich. Their family did just totally mostly fix our ship in a day." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want to be kind to him," Caleb said, and left it at that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They arrived shortly after. Rosohna was a distant planet, it’s orbit kept it approximately seven years out of the light of the sun and gave it one year with seasons. In space, it showed like a glittering jewel. It was the founding planet of the Kryn Dynasty, where the Bright Queen raised her people from the shadows underground and led them to the space age. As they entered the hemisphere Caleb immediately noticed the brightness of the city that built itself silver into the dark exterior as they landed on the loading dock.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright folks, gear up, let’s rock and roll,” Fjord said standing up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aye, aye Captain Tusktooth!” the rest of the crew shouted back, before grabbing the necessities and disembarking off the Balleater. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were met immediately by a group of Drow, one of the natural inhabitants of Rosohna. There were all dressed in robes, shaded darkly but with touches of glitter and shimmer, enough to catch the low light. That separated them from the woman who walked before the rest of the group. She was dressed the most exquisitely, in a dress made like it was gathered from violet clouds that moved and shimmered with an almost iridescent quality. Her silver hair was pulled back high on her head, and her ears were decorated with what had to be thousands of credits worth of jewels. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You stand before Deirta Theylss, Umavi of Den Theylss,” one of the group said. Fjord immediately bowed, and everyone else followed suit. When Caleb rose from his bow, he saw Deirta’s eyes raking over his face intensely. She was an attractive woman, older in the almost imperceptible way elves aged, but cold and austere. Something about her gaze set him on edge immediately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How fascinating,” she said, reaching out to take Caleb’s chin. She turned him this way and that, and Caleb resisted every instinct in his body that screamed at him to shy away from this woman. He didn’t like looking people in the eye normally. This forced contact made his skin crawl. “It is truly, utterly breathtaking...how much like him you look. An absolutely perfect match if my memory serves. There is no doubt, we have been blessed by a true Recurrence. The Luxon truly shines it’s Light upon us and our den on this day.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She released him and folded her hands in her sleeves. Caleb could feel the rest of the Mighty Nein draw close to him, a semi-circle of protection that grounded him the present and kept him from scratching the skin off his arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It has been...a lot for a day and a half,” Caleb admitted, swallowing nervously. He understood the wariness of the others now. There were eyes on them everywhere, almost all of the movement in the hanger had ceased. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am just happy to welcome my son in law home,” Deirta said with a smile that did not reach her eyes. “There is much we must discuss, of course. But the first order of business is the Reintroduction, the second is the will.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Reintroduction?” Jester asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Between him and Essek, my son,” Deirta said. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Essek</span>
  </em>
  <span>. No one had yet said his name to Caleb. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Essek Theylss</span>
  </em>
  <span> was his husband by law in the Kryn Dynasty, a man that Caleb had never met before. He had the insane urge to speak it out loud, to run the name over his lips, as if that might spark something in him other than crippling anxiety. “This will be followed by the meeting with the Bright Queen tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>The Bright Queen</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Nott and Jester and Fjord and Beau all demanded at once, one with suspicion, one with excitement, and the other two with abject disbelief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You all clearly do not appreciate the cultural significance of Recurrence,” Deirta said lightly as they all walked to the transport ship. They were seated in a flying craft, with a large see-through lid that was sent up through a channel and then ported them out to the city itself. For a moment Caleb was too dazzled by the silver city itself, and almost didn’t hear Deirta’s command. “Smile for the cameras.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cameras?” Caleb asked before nearly yanking his own head back at the sight of the huge holo-screens lining the streets that lit up with their image. There was the sound of cheering audible from even up there. Jester waved manically, as well as Cad and Yasha...a bit more shyly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You, child, are a phenomenon that occurs one out of ten trillion,” Deirta said cooly, though she smiled sweetly for the camera that tracked her wave and the movement of the craft. “And even less likely to be discovered. You demonstrate the most sacred law of our deity, the chance for true rebirth. In such times as these, you are proof of the divine nature of our lives. And as if that were not enough, you are husband to a Theylss. Not just any Theylss either, the son of the Umavi, Shadowhand to the Bright Queen, and considered to be one of the great beauties of our people. Any one of them would kill to be in your position." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re wrong,” Caleb argued as they passed the holo-screens and continued on, towards a castle of silvered metal towering from the ground. “I’m just...I’m just </span>
  <em>
    <span>Caleb</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A murderer, a fugitive, a crazed lunatic, a self-made orphan, perhaps. </span>
  <em>
    <span>But proof of the divine</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Only if the divine was looking for a cosmic joke. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps before today,” Deirta said as she looked towards the castle. “Not anymore."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon enough they were out of the city proper and into the Firmaments District, as the captain of the ship informed them. The Bright Queen’s Cathedral was a massive castle-ship, currently docked in place and surrounded by the high pearly white walls that separated her and her court from the people of Rosohna. In the district behind were the houses of the other most prominent dens, laid out amongst the maze-like streets like small treasure chests. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your friends shall stay with me in my household as honored guests,” Deirta Theylss ordered as they moved down to street level and moved through the city streets. She turned her seat to face them. “We shall go to your home to meet with your husband.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! Caleb doesn’t go alone!” Nott argued fiercely, planting herself firmly in front of Deirta as if she were three feet taller. “Either I go with Caleb, or he doesn’t go anywhere.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The same goes for me," Beauregard said, crossing her arms in front of her chest, flexing the muscles there. She made a much more terrifying picture as Yasha sidled up beside her and echoed the same motion. Jester joined with Nott. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The Might Nein stays together," Fjord said, placing a hand on Caleb's shoulder, as did Caduceus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Very well, I'm sure Essek will make the appropriate arrangements," Deirta said before turning to the officer who was piloting the transport craft. "Fine, go to Essek's residence." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, my lady. Sit down, we'll arrive within a few moments,” the pilot of the transport ship said before closing the hatch and separating Deirta in the Captain's quarters from the Mighty Nein. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't think I like her," Jester hissed as she plopped down in her seat again and crossed her arms over her chest. "Your mother-in-law is mean." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She doesn’t have to be kind, she is an Umavi," Beau grumbled. "That’s like super nobility, but besides that she's a politician first, did you see the way she set us up?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Besides just the political boost, there was a more obvious reason now that he thought about it. Of course she wanted his face plastered on every holo-screen in the Dynasty. Now everyone would know his face, Caleb realized. She was far more shrewd then Caleb had given her credit for. If he tried to do something stupid, like escape without a functional hyperdrive in his ship, everyone on this side of the universe would know who he was. Tightening the noose, Caleb thought, his breathing suddenly funny in his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is all very complicated now," Caduceus said worriedly before stopping. "Are you alright, Caleb?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I feel like I'm going to be sick," Caleb admitted, gripping his hands hard to keep them from shaking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh no, Caleb," Jester said, immediately taking residence at his side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’ll be alright,” Nott worried his shirt quietly before gathering his hands in hers. “It’ll be alright. I promise. We’ll find a way to get out of this, I promise.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, my little friend,” Caleb said weakly, letting Nott press a kiss to his forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s be prepared, who knows what could happen,” Fjord said, looking seriously out at the street. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They arrived at a residence that was really three towers connected by walkways on the ground and above. The towers themselves had a uniquely antique feel in the city so smooth and chrome, built to resemble stone. However in the flickering low lights they revealed a glittering effect. On the top of the tower spun some sort of mechanism that shifted like gears and seemed to be measuring something. Caleb’s curiosity was thoroughly peaked, though, he wasn’t sure that this was the appropriate time to sate his curiosity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A servant-droid greeted them at the door to the front tower, bowing before Lady Theylss. She didn’t give the droid a single glance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where is my son?" Deirta asked shortly, brushing out her skirts though there were no folds or wrinkles to be seen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"In the gardens, my Lady," the droid stated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course," she sighed tiredly. “Lead us there.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked through the tower to the walkway between the towers. There was a garden, filled with Glowing Nightblooms, a flower that when blooming cast soft blues and violets and whites into darkness. He had read about them before. They were a staple in the cheap credit a dozen novels he brought from outposts or second hand merchants, but seeing them in person was another. The path led them past crystal statues of geometric shapes that made light fracture into rainbows and painted the air vibrantly. The garden circled a pond, a dark tranquil pool that was so still that it was almost a perfect mirror with the star-filled sky. A single small shrine stood in the middle of it. And there in the center a person standing before the shrine...almost appearing like a ghost as silver incense smoke curled in the air.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My son, come and greet your husband," Deirta said. The figure turned from the shrine, he crossed the lake. Caleb had been to the edge of the galaxy itself, and yet he didn’t think he had ever seen a more handsome man before. He was composed of sharp edges and elegant lines, his skin a smooth and peerless dark plum, and his hair perfectly tamed and coiffed. There were no ripples as he moved-no-skimmed across the water’s edge as weightless as fog. He arrived on the stone path, and immediately knelt, expensive dark robes shifting as he did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Welcome home, my beloved," Essek said, bowing deeply enough to press his forehead to his fingers. Geometrical earrings caught the light, as did an impressive, elaborate mantle that was settled upon his neck."I have been awaiting your arrival.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, lift your head,” Caleb half-begged, feeling flushed and oddly ashamed. He hadn’t done anything to deserve this act of devotion from this complete stranger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope you have found everything suitable," Essek said as he continued to bow, pointedly ignoring his request. Caleb could almost sense Deirta gloating from where she stood a few feet behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ja, your home is...it's beautiful," Caleb said, not sure if the words even came out past his panicked choking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It is your home as it is mine, I am happy it pleases you," Essek said as he stood effortlessly, robes swaying as he did so. The silver of his eyes illuminated his face, flecked with pale blue and violet in the shifting light of the pond and flowers. His expression was hard to read, though his mouth curled up in a soft almost-smile. "I am Essek Theylss, son of Deirta Theylss, Shadowhand of the Bright Queen."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Caleb. Caleb Widogast," Caleb said softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Caleb," Essek said, something flickering upon the surface and dissipating just as quickly. "And your guests?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My friends. The Mighty Nein." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"TOWER," Essek called, and a screen lit up along the wall. "Make sure the service droids prepare rooms for my husband's friends." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your will shall be done, sir," the AI stated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"In your room you shall find both the spellbook and the deed to the home as stated in the will," Essek said, tone businesslike...formal. Caleb wasn’t sure what he had been expecting. Perhaps crying? Screaming? Anger or sadness or grief? And yet Caleb saw none of that as he looked at this stranger. There was only politeness...a cool sort of acceptance. "Both already confirmed by the arbiter and myself. Are you capable of translation or will you need assistance?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ja, I can," Caleb said lifting his wrist to show his staff. Essek reached out his hand and offered it expectantly...and Caleb did the only thing he could think of and laid his wrist in Essek’s grasp. His touch was cold and fingers soft, and just that was enough to raise goosebumps along his skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have never seen this model of a STAFF,” Essek said, inspecting the device, interest sparking in his gaze. It was the first truly genuine thing he had seen from this man who was meant to be his husband, and it soothed something in his heart. Caleb caught a glint of a STAFF upon Essek’s own wrist as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...ah...I built it myself,” Caleb admitted. “I could not afford one with the specs I desired, so one has to do what they must.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then we have that in common, I also built my own staff. You are a techno-mage, I see," Essek said, sounding unsurprised. "Wizard speciality I assume?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I...yes, how did you…?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He was the same," Essek said quietly, releasing Caleb’s wrist. Essek didn’t need to say who “he” was, they both knew. Caleb drew it back, and resisted the urge to stroke the place where Essek had touched. His skin still tingled from the touch. “Is there anything else you all required?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah...my familiar,” Caleb said, opening his satchel to show the limp body of the companion-droid. “I would like to fix him, do you know where I can get the materials?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As you may have noticed, I employ droids heavily. I have droid-repairing materials here, TOWER shall acquire for you whatever you need,” Essek promised. He paused before looking to Deirta. "I am sure you have more you wish to discuss with me, Umavi."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes," she said, without a scrape of anything resembling maternal love or affection. Instead there was only business. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Very well, we will speak in my office. I shall take my leave now," Essek said, turning to address them all. "If there is anything you require, you may call for the home AI, TOWER." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with that, he drifted past them with the Umavi, leaving them all alone. Caleb felt that he could finally breathe as soon as he was gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow...this is just like that scene in Tusk Love,” Jester said, steepling her fingers and looking starstruck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What part of Tusk Love?” Nott asked curiously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The scene where Genieveve meets her fiance, you know, the one her dad wants her to marry instead of Oskar?” Jester asked. “And the fiance totally tries to seduce her over dinner by giving her that beautiful red dress and the necklace made of lumincrystal?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! I love that part, especially when the fiance put his hand-” Nott started. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think this is like that,” Fjord said, interrupting warily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If anything I don’t think it was horny enough,” Beau complained. “Like...did this guy even like his husband? He sure as fuck didn’t act like it. Like, if I spent two weeks away from the person I loved the most I would be shoving them into the nearest supply closet with me. Imagine hundreds and hundreds of years!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you?” Fjord asked incredulously, and Beau elbowed him hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We all deal with loss in our own ways,” Caduceus said as he looked on at the shrine still settled in the pond like a cloud in the sky. “But he loved his husband...that’s for sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What makes you say that?” Caleb asked, swallowing in an attempt to wet his tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Such a fine grave could only be kept with devotion,” Caduceus said, motioning to the small shrine. And as Caleb watched the single curl of white smoke still rising from the incense, carved words upon marble meticulously polished he realized that Caduceus was right. This wasn’t a shrine...it was a grave. “It’s beautiful.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Caleb looked away, unable to quell the ache in his chest. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span> He spent a good portion of the evening tinkering and repairing Frumpkin with the materials provided. He was unable to explain his relief when the usual start-up menu appeared in their shared link. The feline-droid meowed happily at being reawoken, and spent a long time cuddling up with Caleb and performing his usual therapeutic routines, before settling to be charged. After that he worked on reading over the spellbook that had been given to him, marveling at the notes (trying not to think about the handwriting that was his own from the way he crossed his z’s to the dashes he used for his i’s). The Mighty Nein ate dinner together, with Essek noticeably absent from the halls and rooms. They were given a spread of traditional Xhorhassian cuisine prepared by the servant droids, and Caleb came to the realization that there was not a single living servant in the home. They were all given their own rooms, and set to retire in them. It was decided to play nice...to make the show of gratitude. If there was one constant in almost every culture across the universe, it was to know better than to trample on hospitality given. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to do?” Nott asked him nervously before they separated for bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know…” Caleb admitted, scrubbing at his face with his hands as he watched Frumpkin charge. “I get the feeling they aren’t going to let me leave so easily.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They said the hyperdrive would be fixed in seven days. That’s the soonest we’ll be able to escape,” Nott said softly, close enough that any bugs that may have planted in the room wouldn’t have caught it. “Think about it, but don’t worry, you're stuck with me regardless of what you want to do, alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Caleb said, catching Nott’s eyes and smiling. And he tried to sleep...he did. But his mind was racing, and finally he could do nothing but leave the room. He figured a quick walk around would settle him, and did his best to memorize the corridors and stairs and rooms he could enter. All information at this point was power, things he could use to get the upper hand in a game that he felt completely outclassed by. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually though...he found himself back  in the cloisters...the high arches and beautifully carved pathway to the garden. And he wasn’t alone, as he soon discovered. Essek stood solitary, next to a pillar looking out onto the pond and the grave. The flowers themselves were pale as a moon, glowing with a soft ethereal iridescence that almost seemed to float up to the clouds of violet and amber dust. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb drew in a breath, and Essek stiffened. A slender dark hand curled against the pillar, but he didn’t move. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry," came the voice from the figure. The accent was smooth, voice soft and thoughtful. He did not turn, and somehow just that felt more genuine then any words they had exchanged thus far. He sounded exhausted, and so very apologetic...as trapped and frustrated as Caleb did. "I'm sure this all must be very difficult...I know this has been the strangest two days of my life." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ja, I would say so," Caleb said, and watched as the figure </span>
  <em>
    <span>cringed</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Oh...his voice. It must be the same or at least similar to...to his real husband. "I am the one who should be apologizing...I'm sure this has been harder for you in more ways than I could ever comprehend." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you are as alike as I fear, I would say that isn’t true,” Essek said, the tired tones of his voice biting into Caleb’s skin. “My husband was always an intelligent man...and always managed to surprise me with his inopportune insights. If you are like him...then there is little hope that you wouldn’t understand me...and I’m afraid that’s far more terrifying than the alternative.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All I can do is apologize it seems,” Caleb murmured. “Apologize and hope that you accept that as my truth.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a long moment Essek didn’t respond, and he wondered if this was Essek’s way of asking him to leave. Caleb was about to...to say something when Essek shifted instead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My husband…" Essek started, faltered and then straightened his shoulders, still refusing to look his way. "I can’t explain it, no matter how much I desire to. His love sustained me through so much. He was one of the first humans to voyage to the stars and come to this distant shore. He was brilliant and kind and so much better than me in almost every way. I love him...even so many years after his death...he has been the only one I have ever loved." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I do not...I wouldn't ever presume…" Caleb started...but faltered. What could he say to make this better? There were no words he could summon in this language or his mother tongue to even scratch the surface of this situation. Instead his voice petered out, running out of gas. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There will be many things asked of you soon,” Essek said, retracting his hand from the pillar and slipping it into his sleeve. “I am just sorry I will not be able to spare you from it...from all of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned around, and Caleb’s breath left his lungs. He was as beautiful as the heavens unfurling in the hours of twilight, a single solitary figure against the quiet light. Instead of drawing near, he seemed to recede further into the shadow cast by the pillars. His expression was empty...there was nothing there, simply a reflection. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have been informed there will be no annulment,” he said cooly, as if he were talking about the weather. “We shall have a Vow Exchange and Marriage Ceremony in seven rotation’s time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They would have us married?” Caleb asked in shock. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remarried technically, as by law you are my husband.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do they have no concerns for your feelings?” Caleb asked, suddenly infuriated for Essek’s sake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have none to be concerned about...not anymore,” Essek said softly as he drifted forward. He didn’t walk, that was certain. Instead he moved as if buoyed in his own gravitational field. “I am a loyal subject to my Queen first, a child of my mother’s den second, a citizen of the Dynasty third, and a person last. I have a duty I must fulfill...and by marrying you, I shall be furthering the aims of my government through the greatest single act of propaganda we have seen since our Queen’s famous speech at the Breach. Though I have nothing to do with that, after all, I have been told that I am living the romance of the millennium. I should be very grateful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seven rotations?” Caleb echoed. A week, a single </span>
  <em>
    <span>week</span>
  </em>
  <span>. That was how long it would take for the hyperdrive to be fixed. The same day...of course it had to be the day that he was sure the entire solar system of Xhorhas would be watching him. Nothing could ever be easy...he didn’t deserve that much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you are planning on escaping...well...I wish you the best of luck,” Essek said with a wry smile, a glint of fang twisting up Caleb’s heart. “I doubt you will get far. My mother has told me that this shall be the single most lavish affair our people have seen since the last marriage between the Bright Queen and the Dusk Captain, and no expense will be spared for things like </span>
  <em>
    <span>security</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t right,” Caleb argued, blood pulsing hot and rapid in his veins. The injustice of it wrenched at his insides. “It isn’t fair, that they should treat you like some...some tool! I-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Essek crashed right into Caleb’s chest. Hands balled into Caleb’s shirt with bruising force, and he stood there dumbly as Essek pressed his face more firmly to his shoulder and shuddered as if he carried the weight of the whole planet upon his shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>fair</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Essek gasped, voice fracturing into a million pieces. Bitter and desperate and hopeless and overwhelming. “Why does it have to be this way? You even feel like him...smell like him! Please...please stop being kind to me. Push me away...run from me, </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Stop sounding like him! Stop...stop talking like him. I beg of you...</span>
  <em>
    <span>I beg of you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. If you stay...I won’t be able to let you go again. I’ll do anything I can to stop you. I’ll be cruel, and vicious, and I’ll hurt everyone and anything that gets in my way. That’s the way I am. I am the most selfish creature that ever crawled upon the surface of any planet. So please...abandon me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are a victim too,” Caleb said, instinctively wrapping his arms around Essek’s waist. He felt so slender in his arms...so delicate, like he was a shard of the universe...like he would disappear if he held him too long. And despite everything...it felt so </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It was just an illusion, brought on by the stress. He had never held Essek before...but he could almost imagine it with how wonderful it was. “Will you forgive me...for trying to find a way to save us both?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Never</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Essek said, looking up at him. His eyes were silver like the moon-dust freckles that shimmered upon his skin, glittering with tears. “I’ll never forgive you. Just gazing upon you gives me a glimpse of that which I most desire, and even if you are just a shade if you stay I will pursue you. Don’t you understand? I am your greatest enemy. So you must go...you must escape without ever looking back at me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Won’t they hurt you? How could I just leave you?” Caleb demanded. “You are innocent. I won’t damn an innocent again for my sins...never.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Innocent? Ha! Abandon that pride of yours, Light damn it! Why don't you understand? The only thing I can do is protect you from me!"  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I won't. If I leave you here...like this, what will happen to you?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nothing I don't deserve after everything I've wrought," he said bitterly, pulling away and leaving his arms so empty and bereft of purpose. "Caleb...I have done everything to deserve this fate, I see that now. This is my punishment, but it is not yours. Escape, Caleb. Escape the Kryn Dynasty. Escape my fate. Escape me. That alone...it will be enough for me for the rest of eternity." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Essek disappeared into the shadows, leaving Caleb behind. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Interlude: E̴̢͉̭̖̕R̵̨̻̞͓̖̪͔̣̩̍̌̕R̸͙͎̻͙͎̤͚̘̉̈́̓̆̉̊͘O̸̢̟̳͔̲̥̪̥̗͛̾͆̿R̷̥̲̣͕̰͖͔͎͗̈̂̐̌͘̚͠</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“In the vastness of space and time it is of course possible for a genetic code to be reproduced exactly. We consider that to be a true rebirth, a Recurrence.”</p><p>“So...my genetic code has occurred once before?” Caleb asked.</p><p>Caleb Widogast, navigator of the Starship SS Balleater, entered the Xhorhas Solar System with only one thought in mind...fixing his cat. Instead, he is thrust into dangerous game and a marriage to one of the most powerful men in that solar system that threatens not only both their lives...but also their hearts.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I have not abandoned this fic, in fact so far I am about 5000 words in and still going with no sign of being even close to finishing. However, I wrote this and realized this is pretty much a perfect interlude between chapter one and chapter two, and also stands alone. So, I thought I would just chuck this here as I keep working to finish this monstrosity of a fic. </p><p>Recommended listening: Error by Garnidelia </p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>&gt;Personal Log Entry #365243</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Entered Intergalactic Standard Time 01:07</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Order: Record</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There is no such thing as fate. Life is merely a collection of coincidences set on course by a series of chemical reactions and heat. We know Gods exist because we have records and accounts of them, and even banished as they are they can still manipulate those series of coincidences enough to be notable divergences from the norm. But there is no such thing as fate, there is no grand design to this universe. There is no </span>
  <em>
    <span>reason</span>
  </em>
  <span>. There never has been and never will be. There is no predetermined reason for anything occurring, it is simply the result of our natural urges and decisions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> I have known this to be true since the day you left me. I know that if you could have cut the cords of fate to stay by my side, you would have. Just as I would have done for you...just as I did everything I could to keep you alive, to keep your heart beating and your breath stirring in your failing lungs. If only you hadn’t been refused a chance at consecution! Oh, how I damned them all! They all hated me for loving you...it makes what is happening now even </span>
  <em>
    <span>sicker</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It’s a plague of the mind...all of this is...I can’t…I̸̢̺̪̱̣̖̐͛͆͝ͅ ̶̢͈͕͈͗̓̎̈́͋̎͗c̶̢̻̜̩̘͈̮̳̖̅̈́̈́a̷̧̡̨̛͎̝̭̤̪̦͋̄́̇ṇ̵̛̛̠͍̈́̈́͐̇̂̈'̶̨̛̝̥̩̱̞̜̀̂̉t̴̥̤͓̬̤͗͂̉͝-̸̧͍̺͖͉̄̽͂̅!̶͚̭̺͎̮̑</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[Alert: You have been inactive for five minutes,  would you like to continue?]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Order: Continue Recording</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...the chance of a Recurrence occurring is 1 in 10 trillion. The chance of that Recurrence happening in the Exandrian Galaxy, in the Wynandir Cluster, arriving in the Xhorhas System, and being tested and discovered? My head aches at the idea of all the zeroes attached to such a statistic. But more than that...I have to ask why. Why? Why did it have to come to this? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I thought I would be well equipped to handle this situation, and yet when I gazed upon your face-his face...your face again...something began to devour me up from the inside, corrupting my mind. It was not greed. It was not determination. It was not my contempt or thirst for knowledge or any of my usual deficits. It was so alien to me...but then I realized it wasn’t that I had never felt this before, but instead, it had atrophied inside of me and become tainted. It was hope. All I can do is apologize...because I still love you. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> you. I haven’t let you go, somehow...I still held onto </span>
  <em>
    <span>hope</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Deep in the recesses of my mind I still hoped that one day I would see you again. Even though I didn’t believe...I still, somehow, childishly...</span>
  <em>
    <span>foolishly</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted it to be true. And my wish came true...but this was not the joy I wished for.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perhaps this is a punishment. That makes far more sense if this is the interference of some higher power. I am clearly being punished for something, though what exactly I am being punished for eludes me. I have done so many things that I knew others may frown on...but I have also always known that my aims are important. Morality, I thought, was just a mind-game that philosopher’s played. Of course, the niceties of society are there for a reason. We are a herd that must protect ourselves, and our rules keep us from gnawing at our own insides. But now I think terrifying thoughts, I doubt myself...which is something I have never done before. If I am being punished, it is because I love you too much and love them too little, even though none of them ever did anything that would secure my affection for them.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It appears now that I am a victim of my own pride, my love. Somehow the universe has granted the greatest disbeliever a miracle, and it is this. Recurrence...it is nothing but a trick of genetics. A fluke. Or it should be. He is you, but he is not you. He is you...but a you who does not love me, a you who will be bound to me against his will and used as a tool for powers he cannot understand. A you who will hate me. A soulmate who shall never be mine. He is you, my love. Your eyes, your face, your voice...your arms around me, holding me...comforting me. It was all the same. It’s true. I know it’s impossible, but it’s true. You have been reborn, and yet you are not mine. I hadn’t ever conceived of a universe where such a thing was possible, and yet...so many impossible things are happening now that it shouldn’t come as the shock it does. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> What am I to do with that? How can I change such a fate? Either I allow you to escape and fall into madness...knowing that you are out there and never seeing you again, or thwart your escape and ensure your hatred of me. There has to be a third way...there has to be... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It is madness, that thought! Madness. I...it’s not true. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>shouldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>-no, I can’t! It’s not you. I...I know it’s not you. I have to stop thinking this way. It’s wrong, it’s wrong. It’s not you. I...I know it’s not you. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> it’s not. My mind knows it...but my traitorous heart, if only I could tear it from my chest! It is only seven days. I couldn’t...it wouldn’t be possible. I couldn’t make him feel affection for me in that short a time...not with circumstances being as they are. But...</span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>! I don’t love him...I love </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Is this not the greatest trespass...the greatest betrayal I could enact upon your memory?  And yet when he...you held me in your arms again, I thought I would give anything to have you. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I would break any rules, I would sever the ties of the universe itself just to hold you again. If you have been reborn, couldn’t you love me again? Are you there? Are you dwelling in his heart, waiting to emerge...to show me your smile again? Is this another chance? Perhaps a chance to correct my most grievous failure, a chance to fix the greatest injustice of the universe. What have I done to deserve it? Nothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I have to let you go. I know it, but my own cruelty surprises even me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Completed transcription, would you like to save, override, or delete this file? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Order: Override</span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Original Personal Log Entry #365243 deleted. What would you wish to record instead? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Add an order of plum wine to the shopping list. Have delivery service leave the package with AI TOWER. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Completed transcription, would you like to save, override, or delete this file? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Order: Save. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>&gt;Personal Log Entry #365243 (1) saved. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>d̴̲͛̋̂̇ǒ̵̙͖̱̠̮̳̄̽̾͐̇̔͜͜ ̶̮̜̰̅͒̍ͅy̶̨̮͇͌̈́̌ō̶̧̢̡͖̝̫̮̱̫̫̂̏̓̓͘ū̵̩̣̼̘͖̑̇̊̊̊͂̿͌͜ ̸͉̭̲̞̖̙̳̹̀̋ḩ̵͈̗͍̣̙̗͍͕̆̌̽̄̿̾̑͘͝e̷̪̼͎͉̾̎͗̄͌͘͜ạ̷͎̏͒̈́͑͊͒̉̎͘ͅŗ̷̛̫̭̪̯̣̮͍̈̔̆̎͂ ̴̛̗͎̟̼̩͂́͊̾m̶̲̱̳͍̜̈́̽̑̎̚ẽ̵̡̟̝̲?̵̡̦̫̬̰̏͜ͅ</p>
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